starting over II

[Not Quitting]

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With regards to MIL, if you don't want it to get back to your H, don't say it. I hear what you're saying about her trying to help and that's great, but if she disagrees with something you tell her, it may end up getting back to your H.

Keep up the good work. You're doing great

[kelela]

Very true so far MIL. Has not said anything to H how I am able to catch up on the bills that I had taken over and how I'm able to keep up with the payments since he had left. Well I must give all the credit to my dad he has helped me out so much in the last month and half I owe my dad so much. Since my dad has helped me to catch up on my payments I now should be able to handle all the payments with our his help now. MIL had said that as of right now I'm doing far more better than H is doing and H can't figure out how I'm able to get things done on my own. And he us wondering why I'm not struggling like he is. Well actually I am I just have my dad helping me and I need to try keep asking my dad for help. Anyway I'll see how the next couple of monthes will go.

[kelela]

I'm really sorry my correcting spell check keeps changing all of my writing and deleting some words I hope you are able to understand what I really want to say.

[Not Quitting]

Aren't dads great . Mine has been a real rock through this. He's listened to both H and I, and said nothing to either of us about what the other had to say. He's providing a rent-free roof over my head and that of my son. And yesterday he fixed my car for me (retired mechanic ). Like all dads, he can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but I really couldn't get through this without him

[TryingToDo180]

So pleased to hear your news K Remeber what NQ says, baby steps I'm pleased you've got a good friendship with your MIL, she seems a lot more supportive than mine

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Hi Kelela, just checking in that everything's okay. Haven't seen you on here for a few days.

[JuneReN]

Nice to hear Kel. Listen, by all means maintain a lovely relationship with MIL, but confide nothing of substance, ever. It will get back, one day, somehow, and then you'll have some splainin to do Lucy!!!

My H is kind of at the same spot. But I want to make darn sure his heart wants to come back too, not just his head

[kelela]

NQ- yes everything is OK Ive been having some dentist surgery done to improve my health. And I have been enjoying and quite nights while my boys are over at their dads house. I'm just doing a lot of thinking about everything on what my H had talked to me about from last week. Yes i know I can't believe anything he says or do at this time and I'm still holding onto that hope that one day there is still a chance that we will be able to save our marriage. Im still living my life day by day and when H comes to pick up boys or if he text I don't bring up any relationship talks. Its still so hard for me not to bring it up; but I'm surprising myself on being strong on not bring it up. My next goal after I'm done with all my dentist surgery i'm going to get my hair done and maybe improve my clothing style when I'm able to afford it. I'm still going to keep moving forward in case we don't get back together and yes I know I still need to give us both time and space to be able to work on our selves and our individual life's at this time.

[kelela]

KP- yes I understand what you are saying and I do agree with you I do keep some things from MIL but I believe my MIL will not stab me in the back cause we both on seated down and had a big heart to heart talk about everything and all her real close friends from her child hood; told me that if she says something to heart she really means it and she never goes against her word. And I have been in this family for 13 years and she has never lied to me. I was just sturburn to actually listen to her. For exsample like I told her that when parents tell their kids things at first we don't listen to their suggesttions until its to late so we have to learn from our mistakes and fix our mistakes to improve ourselves. And that is what I'm trying to do at this time I'm still taking it very slow and day by day. And I think I'm doing OK so far and my MIL told me that I had proved her wrong she had told me that she thought that I wouldn't change my ways and she had seen first hand that I'm so much capable on doing this on my own. And she is really proud of me. That made me feel really good. I'm actually so lucky to have a MIL that is willing to help me through this whole thing and to help me to improve myself.

[Not Quitting]

Glad to hear everything is ok. One goal at a time - good idea about getting your hair done, and the change in clothing style. I've already done the hair, but new clothing is next on my list of things to do for me (when finances allow of course), along with the decluttering/reorganzing at home.

Sounds like you're in a good place mentally and emotionally right now. Keep up the PMA and the GALing and you'll find that life does get easier.

There's a quote one of my FB friends posted a few days ago that really suits everyone on this forum - "You never know how strong you really are until you have to be"

Time does help. I'm finding it a lot easier now when dealing with my H, as most interactions have been more business-like than anything else. I've gotten good at not texting him for anything other than S13 or finances, but I really need to be better at not answering his texts the second they come in.