Dingo, I can sympathise with what you're going through.
I've been there. And I'm 2 years down the track. That's the sad truth about how long this can take.
And re AS's observation: "After BD I too laid a lot of affection and attention on my W. I "fixed" every personal issue she said I had. We seemed to be getting along better than ever, and it seemed like she was really trying to make the M work. But every time our M came up in MC she always said the exact same thing- "I just don't want to try". Despite appearances, she was totally done. She was still planning her exit strategy. And she did leave. I've read similar sitches many times on these forums. Do not underestimate how "done" your W is. Stick to DB'ing. Quit pursuing her. Give her time and space."
My experience was the EXACT same. Please do not underestimate how done she is.
This is so sad and hard to hear, i know, but it will help you cope with the amount of time that is going to be involved in this process.
Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, first and foremost.
