WR, I'm glad you returned to post an update. How are you doing? You sound like you've had some hellish days w/work, concern for your sons and yes, your nutty buddy h.
I'm glad to read that you finally completed your financials and working on your mortgage situation. Each time something has been completed or nearly done, it's one more thing off the checklist and off your worry list.
How are the boys doing? I know your S14 must be having a difficult time trying to understand and deal w/his father. It always appear that the mlcer chooses one to buddy up to and the other child is left as an outside. I'm so sorry for this.
I think you have done beautifully w/stating what was on your mind and you told your h just how you felt. For someone who has no money, just how does he plan to get an apartment? They generally want first and last month's rent and a security deposit. How does he propose to furnish the place. Sounds to me like he's crying "poor me the victim in all of this". He better take whatever furniture you are willing to give him.
Make sure your toolbox has: flat head screwdrivers, Phillips screwdrivers, pliers and some wrenches. You may also want to have some "hex" keys and a hand saw. These tools will get you through in a pinch and not just for hanging pictures. I think it's a great idea to have a split the tool day.
Your h is all over the place and it's funny how defensive he was about you asking questions about a girlfriend. He sure protests a lot about that one...kind of reminds me of my conversation w/the xh. If there is one, she may be in the wings and he'll not reveal her presence unless he actually gets caught. My xh denied his ow existence for over 7 years and only then when I said something and he slipped up. By that time, he had been married to her for 3 years. Got to love that old river called "Denial".
Whatever you do, stick to your boundaries and do not waiver. He now is very much aware that you've had enough and will not stand in his way. Let's see just how far Mr. Nutty Buddy goes in getting things done for the divorce he's screaming for.
I do hope that you and your sons will have a nice weekend. Try to get some rest and do something that you enjoy, even if it's just for an hour...do it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
