He's had a girlfriend for years who would like nothing more than to get married, but he's made it clear he is not willing to risk the pain again.
That's a really selfish attitude. Does he care nothing about her needs and desires? He should have DB'd his last M, then he'd be more confident that he could succeed in his next M. He should let her go so she can fulfill her dreams.
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I also don't buy into the whole "more fish in the sea." I already fished that sea and caught my trophy fish.
LBS's tend to put their WAS on a pedestal. They tend to think (for a while) that the WAS is the perfect spouse, there could never be a replacement for them. Eventually you'll come out of your fog and see her for what she is- just one of many, many women in this world.
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Much like my colleague, I never knew it was possible to feel this much pain.
So you have incentive to actually WORK at your next marriage instead of letting it run on autopilot.
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Who would willingly subject themselves to it again?
You can be in a great marriage without being codependent. That is the difference. Through DB'ing you can become strong, independent and self-sustaining again. All the things you were before you got married and that you lost in marriage. Next time don't lose yourself.
