Taking the next step

[TryingToDo180]

As in the words of MP "Always look on the bright side of life!"

[Not Quitting]

Today had some ups and downs. I find myself getting a little miffed as I try to settle back down in this place that I was so eager to get out of just recently. Thinking of the hurt and bad things W did in leaving, and all that...

We all have days like that MH. The important thing is that we keep our PMA and don’t let the downs outnumber the ups .

. Took a brisk bike right after a pretty productive day at work. I managed to do several loads of laundry, dust, and spray the carpet for fleas - the poor kitty did *not* appreciate being locked in the back room for that. She let me know about it!

Hope you treated the poor kitty for fleas as well or you’ll end up doing that whole thing all over again.

The sad part was unpacking and re-shelving the DVDs W brought back over here. And I also moved all my books to an empty shelf in the living room that used to hold some of her collectible books. I also moved all the photo albums that are still here. But, sad as it was, I'm not going to sit around here surrounded by boxes, feeling sorry for myself. Next time she comes over, I'm going to have several items ready for her to take back with her if she wants, and I may have some stuff re-arranged as well.

I’ve got that to do yet. H still hasn’t finished his packing and with being out with the Cadets last night, tonight and all day tomorrow, I doubt I’ll even have time to get rid of the dust on those empty shelves, let alone refill them with anything. That’s my target for next week .

[MileHigh]

Sometimes, I'm up during your time as well.... Says a lot about my sleep schedule....

So, I was reasonably proud of my efforts to get all my books on the living room shelf so I could free up some space in the bedroom, and maybe send the other shelf over with W to the other place.I may be a tad obsessive, but they're a matched set, and I hate to split them up!

So, this morning, I read something online that reminded me of a book I thought I had. Then I discovered two more boxes of books here that are mine. Oh, well... book sorting and shelving round two tonight... aren't I a party animal!

Haven't heard from W today or any plans for the weekend. I wonder if, like me, she's got a lot on her mind because of the recent change in our sitch (from D bound to S). Anyway, we'll see. She's supposed to bring the cat over for a visit soon, so I'll probably hear something. Not going to fret.

[TryingToDo180]

Do you not go to her place then? I just wondered why she's bringing the cat over for a visit.
Isn't it funny how all three of us are working on our bookshelves at the mo? Looking back I think it was me who started this So you can't get rid of the other bookshelf then as you've got to find a home for all your other books, shame
In a way I'm pleased that you're up at my time as well so I've got someone to chat to If I can't sleep I'm sometimes on here during your time, so at least we've all got a bit of company
My son will be home from college soon, I'll have to break the news to him now that he's coming out with me during the day. I'm sure he won't mind at all

[MileHigh]

I have yet to see the new place since she's moved in over there, after The Contractor . finished the painting.

I hope...

Maybe when I finally get around to finding a car so she's not doing all the driving. But that gets more and more difficult after trying to pay taxes, all the extra costs run up by this sitch - D may be expensive, but S is not cheap either!

Hope you and your son have a good day!

[Not Quitting]

Isn't it funny how all three of us are working on our bookshelves at the mo? Looking back I think it was me who started this So you can't get rid of the other bookshelf then as you've got to find a home for all your other books, shame

In my case, the bookshelf was the first thing H emptied – not that he had books in it; just all his little pewter trinkets. When he does take his books, I’ll have another set of bookshelves to fill, but at least half of that is already promised to my son as his bookshelf is overflowing.

In a way I'm pleased that you're up at my time as well so I've got someone to chat to If I can't sleep I'm sometimes on here during your time, so at least we've all got a bit of company

I’m sometimes up on UK time as well . That comes from having friends over there still. If we want to FB message it has to be at odd times (early morning for me or late night for them) and we take it in turns.

My son will be home from college soon, I'll have to break the news to him now that he's coming out with me during the day. I'm sure he won't mind at all

Funny, my son is the same. When I told him his dad might not be around this weekend, he just shrugged and said “that’s ok”.

Maybe when I finally get around to finding a car so she's not doing all the driving. But that gets more and more difficult after trying to pay taxes, all the extra costs run up by this sitch - D may be expensive, but S is not cheap either!

No kidding about S not being cheap - I ended up in debt consolidation as a result of H not putting his pay into the joint debt . Of course I dragged him into it as well by threatening banko which would leave him responsible for the whole thing. Guess he thought I'd just let him walk away from his financial responsibilities as well as his marriage. Oops, sorry I'm not the pushover you thought I was

[MileHigh]

My wife had a real shock when she saw my itemized list of expenses. I had tried over the years to get her to be more involved, but she would end up shrugging it off and the responsibility would fall to me. Of course, she then blamed me for being too controlling.

Funny how quick she went from we need to separate finances to can you keep up the deposit into the joint account!

[Not Quitting]

My H used to keep spreadsheets of every bank or credit card transaction we did, updating it every time either of us used our debit card or the credit card, etc. So yesterday when we had to take our list of expenses/income to the credit counselling session I was expecting him to come with a printout. I'd already set up a budget on Excel so printed that off and took it. H turns up with a scrap of paper with a couple of numbers and the rest he just gave from memory.

He was always the one to handle the finances as he's the math whiz. I didn't realize how far in the hole we were until I took a really close look at everything when he moved out. Guess I should have paid more attention. Of course, I've managed to keep my expenses under control since we separated and have actually started to put a little bit into a savings account each month, while H is still eating out frequently and drinking out often - and then complains about being broke. The one thing that I always took care, and that he's now going to have to figure out how to do for himself is the tax return.

The two joint bills we still have (cell phone, but only until contract ends in a couple of months, and the debt settlement repayments) are coming out of my account and I made sure he put a clause into the separation paperwork guaranteeing that he would pay his share in a timely manner. It's been working so far.

[MileHigh]

Yikes. Seems the MLC really causes people to do everything differently...

[Not Quitting]

Yikes. Seems the MLC really causes people to do everything differently...

Definitely. My H went through a complete personality change and he lost his sense of humour somewhere along the way as well.

For a while my H didn't seem to want to spend any time with our son - and this from someone who suggested that he become a house husband when S13 was only 6 months old (I could earn more than him) and didn't go back to work full-time until he was 6. He would cook, clean and do laundry. In the last few months he lived at home, I was lucky if his laundry was put into the hamper by anyone other than me and his clean clothes would sit on a box in the bedroom for weeks. He used to be the first one to put the clean laundry away.

Oh well, such is life