chicken or egg?

[etc]

alright, so I slept on my last comments.. My basic DB plan as of now is as follows:

- Don't fight D process, but only accept terms that I'm comfortable with. W knows I don't want this. No need to say that anymore to her.
- Totally accept D. If I know anything about my W, when she gets an idea, there's no stopping her from pursuing it. I've seen her do this with many things and often in the end she realizes they aren't what she thought they were and has regrets. Now, this could be different, but my W is bound and determined to see what it is like to be a "free woman." There's no stopping her. This is going to happen, but even she admitted recently that she might want to try to work things out in a few years. She wants to see what life is like completely on her own. I need to allow her to have that. And I'm actually thrilled right now b/c it seems that we can get along well through this and she seems committed to not hurting me financially.
- Continue focused work on building amazing relationships with my kids by continuing to learn about their LLs and keeping their love tanks full.
- Start GALing on my nights off like crazy. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish. I have house projects. I have some new career goals. I want to get out and meet new people. The only trouble I have right now in this regard is that I'm close to becoming broke. So, my GAL activities are going to have to basically be free.
- Continue seeing an IC at least once a month. I'm doing a lot of inner work through the NUTs and NMMrNG programs. I'm learning a lot more about my own manhood.
- Get myself back on track spiritually. I feel like I've put my relationship with God on hold because of a lot of this stuff. I think my W's denial of faith has had a big impact on me. I need to spend more time in quiet and prayer.
- Plan a trip somewhere in the next few months and go solo. One thing I'm learning to do is more things on my own. I also want to plan a trip with my kids, but I'm going to have to get $ for this. We'll see.

Anyhow, that's where I'm at for now. I don't want to play games though. I want to keep it real.

ETC