better to love or be loved?

[willbwell]

just journaling a bit here...
Had a dream about h last night. in our current sit. we were at a school meeting for s. we snuck into a back room and had some great slow kisses. in the dream, they felt so real. I've been up an hr and I am just remembering.
haven't seen h in over a week. he stopped by last night. again, h seems tired. coming to our home seems make him feel so depressed. has said to me-doesn't want to be here. h is still seeing ow I think.
I let the ow take up space in my head. its the curiosity thing...what does she look like? oh, I get the whole, fun, easy no responsibility, brain chem change thing. know in my head, does no good to be curious. This is h's deal. part is a justice thing. would like to confront and say...you must be so proud. sleeping with a married man. h denies the r with her. I'm sure ow thinks she's in love! my h is a catch-he's charming , handsome... can't stand to think of ow getting the good of h.