All - I don't have much time right now, but will reply to your posts after reading them at work today - in LA now -
Here are ideas from brainstorming at 3am today, in no particular order: take another DB coaching session Sounds good IF you think the marriage is worth OR capable of saving. 10 years with no sex is going to be hard long haul for both of you to repair/overhaul. AND she is not interested in it. In fact she wants out. So maybe , ask for coparenting advice
try Bettermen coaching, after reading NUTS again, as long as the various approaches do not confuse or conflict, do it
run 9 miles on weekends, so that French friend and I can do this together, as he offered to last weekend. Talk to this friend - start by email? Pick up the phone and have an upbeat attitude about it. Email is silly. Nothing to do be nervous about. Why email when you can call?
THINK ABOUT WHY YOU WOULD EVEN ASK THIS^^...it's not a date. Call the guy, check in and ask how HIS life is going, then ask about the run. No biggie.
Why email and then wait and hope he even checks it? Pick up the phone. There are a ton of things in this area to do (call me too while you're at it)
and DO, no more thinking or planning or wavering. Like the commercial says, "JUST DO IT". I have to run but real quick--
But please do not let your d move out so soon. She is 16!
And don't think for a minute she's not leaving partly b/c of the tension at home. B/C you see, "avoiding conflict" was easier for YOU but it was costly TO HER....
more later
This month's Outside magazine has 'lifehacking' ideas How to be a good dad at a distance to daughter? show PMA in any case! The morning I left, I put in a storm window, because I thought it was good (warmer house!), and even though daughter said 'you should ask ma about that' don't ask for permission any longer, no more 'ma will know' or 'ma knows best' contact my favorite cousin, with whom I had a falling out contact W or not while I am gone? do not pursue. Must ask/tell her about wanting to take kids on New Year's trip, even if she does not want to come. Should book trip soon. Do ice rappeling, ice boating, talk to my Lebanese barber about any Arab drummers he may know, no one makes your dreams happen for you. Invite lunch club to hike on weekend after 1st meeting - everyone can walk! Beautiful torches at night in snow in Japanese movie Vibrator - something for us ? Help wife renovate? That which I choose, not that which she tells me. We have a door that needs work, for example. Is this honoring my W and myself? PMA - even though it bugs W. Not teflon happiness however. Validate her pain? More than I am sorry about how she feels? I am responsible for my happiness. Get therapy (EE leader, maybe?) to help break behavior patterns. Say good night and good morning every day. I am worried not seeing daughter in the evenings - she has a long commute each way to Stockholm and has been speaking about getting a room/apartment there. New jeans and new shirts. Grow a beard? W hates beards. W wants nothing from me - not the food I make, even. So what shall her xmas gifts be? She told me of one book she wants, I have another, I have a razor type she likes, and I think she would like the movie The East. Abandonment issue - Jealousy of my fancy job and travel and income I start interviewing college applicants to my alma mater next month, in Sweden. I am responsible for my own happiness and situation.
Later - thanks -
L
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
