Living My Life

[littleGTO]

Time for a new thread!

Synopsis of my sitch for anyone new:

-Been M for 18 yrs; together for 21
-Have 3 beautiful boys, ages 14, 11 & 10
-BD 1 1/2 yrs ago (having EA w co-worker; ILYBINIWY)
-EA likely to be closer to 2 years
-H moved out 10 1/2 months ago
-First mention of D 4months ago

-Took off wedding ring 2 months ago (HUGE for me- meant I had accepted end of M)
-1 month ago-Met w 2 different mediators (meet & greet)..I cried at both; haven't been back

-1 month ago- H & OW started NC (but work together, so....?)
-1 month ago- I started new position at my work (LOVE it!)

-H comes to our house to see boys after school every day & just started having overnights one night each weekend, but ultimately wants more time, not at house This is my hang-up/fear.

-Me- have a "cute guy" friend who I have kissed on more than one occasion & like to hang out with once in a while at his house (R is rebound/transitional (no emotional connection-he does not want a GF-like R right now-works a lot; has S3...& I am not ready of a new R like that, I don't think)....trying to understand the WHY of him in my life, but am accepting of it)

-Have not dated; H recently voiced his "disapproval" of dating unless we are D'ed...this is unsettling to me, but not actually sure

-H recently has complimented me on my looks more & given me "long hugs" instead of "pity pats"...trying not to read into any of it

-I am NOT afraid of losing H b/c I M is over, but am VERY fearful of losing time w my boys & them losing the life of ONE HOME

-Just "sitting" right now & trying to find peace in the calm; finding more happiness now than in a long time... Living my life!