Triggers will happen. They aren't fun but thankfully they get less painful over time. I'm not sure they will ever go away though.
I too used to have two different personalities. I thought being a serious and focused person made a good leader. It still does but it must also be balanced with a loving leader. It's been interesting to watch my life shift as I become more of a loving leader with serious moments.
Play with it a bit more... I think you will find out that you too will like the play JS more.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.