better to love or be loved?

[willbwell]

h was here tonight. tired, stressed, depressed(I think) Sits with d 15 but not so engaged. Just doesn't seem at all enthused or happy. He has a neck ache .takes an aleve. we make small talk(mostly me of course) he was in the city where ow was. maybe he was with her and the guilt is causing his neck pain. I do know he didn't call/text d15 2 nights in a row to say goodnight when he usually does.
A 180 for me would be to not talk AT ALL. can't do it. I don't stay mad at h even though I should be. I am sad for him.