My only tough spot now is my step-kids. I have raised them for over 3 years, they call me Dad (even when W tried to get them not to for awhile).
W has not really worked too hard to stop me from seeing them - I had a "date" with D10 last week; fun time with Chinese food and a (somewhat) scary movie; and it was awesome. She just hugged and wanted to sit right beside me the whole time. I miss them terribly, and feel bad for not being there for them.
However, there is an element here where W is now working - when she hasn't worked much in over 2 years, and even then very part-time. She will soon be having bills pour in, and she has put herself heavily in debt, and has no financial support from me. She also used to lay around and let me take the kids all the time by myself while we were still living together. For the last 3 months while living with our friends, the mom where she stayed said she slept most of the time or watched TV in her room and let the mom watch the kids. So, my going dark is going to force W to actually have full responsibility for the kids with very little option for a break, ever.
W was supposed to take them to the fair yesterday, and XW was there, and said only D10 came, and she came with a friend; W was too "tired" to bring D5 so she stayed home and colored her hair. Sigh. I know they're gonna get no time.
I don't want to use not seeing the kids as a pawn to put pressure on her, and it's not fair that they suffer because of W; but I don't know. Would it be breaking the "dark" to call D10 directly and have her ask W if they can come over? I wouldn't even have to speak to W or see her. However, if not, I can guarantee that they will be plopped in front of a TV most of the time.
Even if W said no (which is likely), the kids would know I had reached out and cared...
