"A very common mistake with LBSs is they think after a few weeks or months it's OK to start pursuing again, but it is NOT. The WAS will let the LBS know if they've decided to work on things, until then the LBS needs to give them tons of time and space and quit pursuing them and reminding them that they're waiting for them. It's clingy, needy, unattractive behavior when the LBS does that. The LBS needs to become strong, self-sufficient and independent like they were when they met the WAS. THAT is what is attractive to a WAS." (AS)
I'm not saying you're charging in, and I haven't done a very good job of this either, but be careful!
But I am just not sure where I am. Once w started pursuing, what I should do is more questionable to me. What I see a lot of people doing that fails every time is that they focus on the marriage. They come at it with a "lets save the M because it is the right thing to do." attitude. That is not my focus. My goal is to date and build attraction for a new relationship. I would never expect my w to "want to work on things" before she felt attracted to me again. I need to figure out what works in my situation and do that. I just need to get better at reading my w's signals so I can tell what is working and what is not.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
