I am getting to the point where I am becoming happy with myself. I never thought I would get there. One thing that helped was just to let go of thinking about her, she is done. Its unfortunate that she will not get to share and grow with my new found health and happiness.
Your comment about her behavior makes sense. But really if she is struggling why wont she want to try again, there are so many benefits for us to be a happy complete family.
DB have certainly helped me personally. Its always in the back of my mind if I should ask .. Do you want to try again? cant you see how awesome I have become? At least try for the sake of the children, they love us both so much. It hurts me, as it must hurt her to see them cry when I leave. That one of the hardest parts of this journey.
Time will tell how this will all play out. Ether way I am beginning to feel that I will be ok no matter what happens.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Your comment about her behavior makes sense. But really if she is struggling why wont she want to try again, there are so many benefits for us to be a happy complete family.
Because she had a plan, and you are interrupting it. Tugging at her heartstrings and according to her that was not supposed to happen.
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DB have certainly helped me personally. Its always in the back of my mind if I should ask .. Do you want to try again? cant you see how awesome I have become? At least try for the sake of the children, they love us both so much. It hurts me, as it must hurt her to see them cry when I leave. That one of the hardest parts of this journey.
Things are going well for you so don't push by asking her right now. Be sensitive to the timing. I know you are and can do that.
I know it's heartbreaking to see what they do to children and they just don't seem to give a cr...care. That IS the hardest part, I agree. Very saddening.
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Time will tell how this will all play out. Ether way I am beginning to feel that I will be ok no matter what happens.
You WILL be ok!!! I know it.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Stick to the plan and you will be more then all right. Here's why, now that you getting stronger an not just surviving ,or living but someday even thriving on your own you will bring that confidence with you everywhere. It's one reason why you shouldn't just jump to someone else. We lbs will carry this medal with us proudly.
Think about this........was it our being soo miserable deep inside just last year that made all this positive change so easy to achieve?
Keep reminding yourself where you started from. It's been a long,but pretty worthwhile, trip.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
You guys are so correct. Im glad I have this site to help me from backsliding when I want to act on emotion.
The progress I have made to better myself wasn't easy but is has been such a worthwhile trip. Personally I feel so much better about me and becoming a great dad to my boys.
This weekend was great as I went bicycling one day with my youngest and swimming the next day with my oldest. I may have lost a wife but I have gained two awesome boys that will make this challenging chapter in my life all worth.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
You sound good Maritimer! Glad to hear that you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a tough journey but so rewarding. Keep up the good work!
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
I am starting to accept this new reality. Making the best of my alone time. Started running, weightlifting, taking an adult learn to swim class. Reading so many self help book I have become Yoda to my friends!
I still miss my W and the premise of a 2 parent family in one home. She still looks as beautiful as ever, but the kindness and respect is not reciprocated. I have detached emotionally the best I can.
Making the best with this "gift of time" we are all granted.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Youve done so well- I dont know what your time commitments look like but your next step should be to "start giving back".
We survived a bomb drop.....even exceeded (in many minds)the expectations others placed on you after they learned about the sitch. Its time to find some volunteer opportunities.
These opportunities will introduce you to other successful people. They will also help keep your mind off the time you cant spend with your boys..........plus good karma.
Furthermore, you stop thinking about you
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
That is some good advise, I am volunteering for a Cancer fundraiser Enduro as a time keeper. Some fall fun in the woods! I will look into other organizations once I figure out more of a schedule.
Really thinking about reducing the frequency I see the children, when I see them in the evenings it is at the W place. She do not make me feel comfortable there. Its frustrating trying to keep a PMA with her cold, negative attitude towards me. Is it because I see her ever 2nd day? It makes co-parenting so much harder.
Its like going to a friends house that don't want you there. Except these are my children, and it was said from the get go that she would not restrict me from visiting with the boys. Which she hasent, but I cannot take them to my place as often as I would like. Her rules her way.
My schedule currently is seeing the boys at her place in the evenings, Tues, Thurs, Friday and recently letting me take them to my place on Sunday. Im thinking about changing it to Wed, Fri and my place Sundays.
I have a 6 month plan to purchase a house near her place, which is a 30 minute drive each way from my current apt.
I have a fear that they would not love me as much if I see less of them. Silly of me to think that. hhmmmm is that me being insecure?
Has any one else experienced the same situation I am in?
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
I am and yes you are being insecure. Took me awhile to understand that I will always be THE FATHER no matter what.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
