Seems we are in the same spot at the moment. It's easy for them because they think it's right for how they feel right now. There is hurt they feel and in their alien mind are trying to make it work, justify if you will.
I found my h's ring and wear it on my thumb. Might be wrong, but it serves as a reminder for me to keep on truckin' and why I must endure.
I know it's difficult, but ignore this, act like you haven't noticed. Fake it for now.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.