Hello JonF, you have come to my thread a few times and thought I would throw in my 2 cents....From what I am reading here you have received alot of excellent advice. Especially about going dark. Like yours my sitch isn't going to be saved with riding the roller coaster of going back and fourth. Like my W yours is apparently confused as to what she wants. The vets here have made one thing very clear, they must go on their own journey without us trying to help them along. There is nothing you can say or do at this moment that will change her.
I have accepted the only thing that can be done is to Lovingly DETACH. It will help me (and truly has) and maybe, just maybe bring about a change in my WAW. You read my thread recently how I stayed dark for a month after trying to open up talks with her. It did not work. So, I stayed dark and n/c for a month and recently only peeked out for a monent to say happy birthday. I did not expect a response and lo and behold she responded.
I really believe here JonF space and detachment is crucial. Without it they cannot complete their journey to wherever it may lead them. It took awhile to get this through my head but today I firmly believe it's the only option. Yes, you are up against a D date but as the vets have said to many others over and over again the old marriage is already dead and the only way forward is to start a new one if that is what comes about.
Damn hard stuff we are dealing with but, there is always hope and thats what I am resting my sitch on realizing it's the only and best choice.....
