M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I'm tempted to reply to W with something like this:
"Renting the house out wouldn't cover the mortgage or get me anywhere in the next few years.
You are entitled to your share of what is left of the equity and I think it is right that you get it. Going on the latest valuation (two weeks ago) from an independent valuator (not an estate agent) there would be 5-6K left. Split between us that would be 2.5-3K each.
If something isn't done soonish and I can't afford repayments we could lose the house altogether and then there will be nothing left for anyone."
Thoughts?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
My Dad said he would lend me the money if I need it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
The one nice thing about seeing L is that it really helps settle questions, doubts, concerns. I know my W has threatened all sorts of crap; actually initially filed D asking for 55% of my net income. It was a huge laugh. While I realized it wasn't going to happen, I was even worried about her getting a little bit.
At least get some facts behind you, and I think you'll feel better.
Well it sounds like a reasonable proposal, brief and to the point with supporting info on how you arrived at the number. I'd go ahead and float it to her. But you never know how a WAS is going to respond to anything. She might agree or she might pitch a fit! So just be prepared for anything.
Basically if W and I can agree on an amount the easier it will go. The amount she asked for is reasonable but no reason why I can't get her to agree to less if she will.
If we go through the process just to remove her from the house and spousal privilege with a settlement it isn't as final as a D. Meaning it's 'possible' W could at a later date get it cancelled and it all start again even though she has had the money. Because she is a single mother with two pre-schoolers and one is autistic she could maybe get quite a bit more out of me irrelevant of the equity.
If we go the D route it will be final and she can't do anything to change that after it's done.
So I either - Leave it and keep struggling. - Create a settlement so I can remortgage and get house just in my name but it's possible it could be ignored at a later date and have to do it all again. - Get D so I can remortgage and get house just in my name with the least amount of possible financial risk.
If we D'd and I petitioned it, because it's less than two years since S I would have to say it was for adultery and W would have to agree.
If we D'd and W petitioned it, because it's less than two years since S she would have to say it was for my actions and not being able to live like that and I would have to agree.
It would cost me about 1K to D if I petitioned. It would cost W 0.5K to D if she petitioned because she is on benefits.
I don't have to decide right now so I'm going sit on it to at least after the weekend.
If I go ahead I think it will have to be D. I would offer her 2.5K if I petition or 3K if she does and see what she says. Irrelevant of the facts I think she will baulk at saying she committed adultery.
She obviously doesn't have to do anything if she doesn't want. I think the money will be tempting though.
Anything to do with driving is well on the back burner for now.
On a lighter note... I get the kids again tomorrow. I have my 2nd Saturday night GAL in a row set up. My best friend of 32 years has told me about a single women that works where he does and that I might be interested in meeting her. I got some praise at work for the first time in a long time. My brother has had final confirmation that their little adopted girl is now theirs.
Good to know it's not all doom and gloom.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
The wording L used was that one of us had to petition it to get it rolling. Starting D is petitioning it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Just catching up, I know the driving thing is 'old news' but whatever you do with the L, you need this to be part of the agreement. You are right, it isn't about controlling, it is about sharing the responsibility - not to mention that the boys would have more time with you on the weekends she drove because she could have them to you when you got out of work. I hear you loud and clear on this one so have it made part of your S/D agreement or you will be driving until they get their own cars!
Good luck with the agreement, not sure how things work where you are but I hope it all works out for you without you being taken advantage of by W.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
I wouldn't have the kids any longer because I have been leaving early every Fridays, it would be the same amount of time. It would mean my first 1.5 hours with them isn't stuck in the car. It's not the best to adjust.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
