So I spent a LOT of time thinking and praying about this comment from Fly:
Quote:
You are either going to stand for your marriage or not, when you've finally come to that decision you will know, there will not be a second you waffle about it. Right now, you just ordered yourself extra with blueberry toppings and whipped cream. You obviously want your marriage, now put in the work, on yourself. Give her the time SHE needs to figure out her own guilt/issues/responsibility in it. You cannot do any of that for her.
Not only was it a great challenge, but God used it to really get my attention, because, let's face it, it really boils down to a choice of divorce or loving my wife, and to me that's no choice at all. I hate divorce - I know what it does to families.
I clearly choose W. With no hesitation, with no wavering, with no doubts.
I prayed some crazy powerful prayers for her last night, and I'm standing on faith. My faith is in God, not W - because I know that He's working even if W won't listen. W is not my enemy.
I went dark from Saturday night through yesterday afternoon, exchanged a few texts about divorce paperwork and her intentions, and am dark again.
My last text was something like, "I don't understand the changes in you since last Friday; none of this makes any sense. I won't demand you meet with me in person, but would prefer it, as I really think this is a decision worth discussing. I know you asked for time and space, so I will continue to give you that, but you're welcome to call."
And now back to dark. But even 5 days of dark isn't NEARLY enough time for stuff to sink in. I think my only sense of urgency is the speed at which the dissolution is moving - 10/7. So now it's wait!
