Thanks Pud, everyone is telling me I need to move on and stop letting my H make all the decisions. Just knowing i have everyone's support on here means so much to me. I know I need to be less available to him though.
I really appreciate the motivation to keep going, it gets so hard sometimes. Like today, I went over there to pick up my stuff. The house was completely empty besides my stuff. H was not there and told me he couldn't make it. My heart sank, I said you can't help me move my stuff? Then he said he would come over if I needed him, so I said yes please. I needed his help lifting the really heavy stuff.
I should have prepared myself for the backlash on Friday. H was very distant to me and not as affectionate as he has been. He even was talking about moving to his own place because of our dogs and he doesn't like living with his new roommate. He then went on to ask me if I would ever move back there with him after it was fixed up. I don't get it! I told him I don't know, maybe depending on the circumstances.
I ended up picking up some sandwiches for dinner, we ate and then I left. Completely different from the last time I saw him! I should have expected if, right? They run hot and cold? One minute they want to work things out, the next they are cold and distant. Is this normal considering where I'm at in my separation? I ended up crying the whole way home to my parents house.
I'm thinking I need to give him his space for now for a while and not contact him.
