First of all, if she's convinced her new buddy is the answer, nothing you do or say will stop her. But it is possible to push her towards him. You already know this.
^^^ Because of this, I don't believe your being dim "furthered her cause". You did that mostly for you, and judging by what I'm reading here, it worked. You sound really solid.
Which came first, the e-distance or her desire to leave? I can't say for your W, but I know for my W it went like this:
She started to distance herself from me, and I noticed right away. After several weeks, she told me she didn't understand what she was feeling. After 3 months, she decided she wanted to run away / end the M. So the distance clearly came before the idea that she wanted out. Proof to me that MLC is not about us or the M. At least not entirely. Bust On!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
