Me- LBS or WAS?

[littleGTO]

bug & BF- H's demeanor about dating/divorce comment...I would say it was calm, matter-of-fact, but definitely with a tone of don't-you-dare-cross-lines-I've-not-crossed!

(H has had this long-time EA w co-worker...basically they talked intimately/sexted & had an on-going, daily R in which they've talked about "everything" for the past 2 years.)

But, it has not been a PA...he said when he moved out that he would "most likely date her" but that he would "live like a M man." He did not date her or see her outside work and b/c the EA never turned to a PA he somehow feels that these are the boundaries of commitment I should also be following..even now, after being S for 10 1/2 months.

I am in a very different place now. I do feel detached. AS, your definition of this is where I am. I do not think or fantasize about H & I reconciling. I do not think or wonder about what he is doing or who he is talking to any more. I do not long to call him or text him at all. His calls do not affect me emotionally. R talks, although few & far between, are far more easy to recover from. My fear is not in losing him anymore...it is losing my role as a full-time mom/ less time with my boys.

I am starting to wonder (I may have already said this) if a D needs to happen for there to be a possibility for us in the future. I HAVE moved on. I HAVE a new life w/o H.

I am not ruling out the possibility of H and I being together in the future,... but more and more I feel like I need to live my own life to find happiness w/o him. If I achieve this (and I do at times, but I mean in general I feel happy or content MOST of the time) then I feel I will have arrived.

I know...life is a journey, not a destination! But, I want to enjoy the journey and the R's with the people who I "travel" on this journey with! Glad you all are on the trip with me at this point!