bea-Our xh's do seem similar yet different and I don't know who has it worse...your xh gets angry and spews and mine tells me how much he misses me but hasn't been able to follow through. Either way, it hasn't been very much fun. If they don't want to be a real part of our lives and be happy, then they should just leave us alone. Maybe they just want to make sure we are as miserable as they are.
Snodderly-Thank you and I hear you loud and clear...don't rush this and let my xh prove himself if he can. Start this out like we are just dating for the first time. At the moment I think I can handle that.
Sometimes I just get a little ahead of myself because he says so many of the right words and he's not really a smooth talker if you know what I mean. It can be hard to understand how someone can seemingly be sincere in apologies and confessions of love but yet not be able to recommit to the relationship. The last time he came back we were about 4 years into his crisis and he seemed sincere in the beginning however something still wasn't right when he didn't stop the divorce. A year and a half later after the divorce was final, he was gone again claiming he was angry because of some supposed hearsay which allegedly took place around 7-8 years prior to him leaving again.
I just keep trying to find if there is anything different this time around compared to the last. As far as I can remember from the last time, there are slight differences in him...he seems like he's trying to be more honest and open. He claims he understands that he needs to give and not just take in the relationship and he appears to be making some effort to follow through...and he has apologized. But I have to say though that the biggest difference is in me. For the most part, I have reluctant to reconnect this time where as last time, I was anxious for a reconciliation. I truly was done and happy on my own. Now I'm trying to see if the pieces of this puzzle can still fit together...while staying happy and sane...regardless of the outcome.
