Great for you!! Congratulations Navy..... Inspirational for all.
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
what a pleasant surprise. I can say I only knew one thing for sure...after you went to that workshop on your own,
I knew YOU would be alright. I wondered if your wife would want what you had found, or be attracted to it, or abandon things...
I'm so glad she chose to go for it and that you were open to it.
I hope she's open to maybe doing EE on her own or Retrovaille or another retreat.
Like you, I've seen too many MC's fail at counselling FOR marriage. They ought to be called "divorce counselors" ---
okay to be fair, I HAVE found some solution based ones who were good. Just not the majority. So you are wise to be careful there.
Congratulations on making SUCH a journey M--- Navy,...really,
you've made what I consider to be, heroic efforts. Bravo to you! If they had them for this, and they should,
I'd put you in for a medal... So now, another different chapter begins...Keep us posted!!
((( hugs ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hey everyone. Long time no chat. Sorry I have been deliquent in providing updates.
Life is still good here...and getting better every day. W and I are enjoying life together again...I'd even go as far as saying we're better off than we've ever been. The kids are doing great. D7 just started 2nd grade and S5 started kindergarten.
W and I still have arguments from time to time, but it is amazing how we are actually able to resolve conflicts now, and even grow closer from them. We have not done any MC, but at this point I think the risks associated with getting a MC that wants to rehash the past outweigh any potential benefits. I am happy...and W is happy. We are building the foundation our marriage never had from the beginning...and just in the past month or so I have really starting reaping the benefits (emotional and physical) of that.
I had my final IC session yesterday. It was interesting to take a step back and look how far things have come in the past year since I started seeing her. My M went from being stuck in limbo, to marching toward D, and then to salvation. And looking back, just like 25 mentioned above...I really think the tipping point of my sitch was the point when I knew I'd be ok, no matter what. The point where I stopped letting W's perception of me determine my own self worth. IC told me it has been incredible to see that change and how proud she was of the work I've done...and the work that W has chosen to do as well, even though she only hears about it second hand. And the best part of that for me is that I will carry that self-worth with me for the rest of my life, and I will be ok, no matter what life throws at me.
I was just going back through some of my old threads and saw I started a thread about a year and a half ago with a line from Dante's Purgatory. I'd like to repost it here again...it still has a very powerful meaning to me, and really applies just as much now as it did then:
"My son, you've seen the temporary fire and the eternal fire; you have reached the place past which my powers cannot see. I've brought you here through intellect and art; from now on, let your pleasure be your guide; you're past the steep and past the narrow paths. Look at the sun that shines upon your brow; look at the grasses, flowers, and the shrubs born here, spontaneously, of the earth. Among them, you can rest or walk until the coming of the glad and lovely eyes-those eyes that, weeping, sent me to your side. Await no further word or sign from me: your will is free, erect, and whole-to act against that will would be to err: therefore I crown and miter you over yourself."
I hope everyone is doing well...no matter what your sitch looks like today. Know that there's a lot of people out there that feel your pain, are thinking about you, and are here for you.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
