Unlearning conflict avoidance 6

[MrBond]

I don't know if you saw 25yrsmlc's post to you at the end of your last thread, but she made a great point.

"What were your plans after the workshop? You had an action plan. Did you think then you'd save the marriage or you'd learn to stand up for yourself?

IF there is any chance of a reconcilation and I'm NOT saying there is, then it would be by your w seeing real change in you. She'll first react negatively, but it will trouble and eventually intrigue her.

But you cannot care about that. THis is for you. I know it's a paradox, but you must value yourself more.

Also don't you earn the bulk of the family income? How will SHE make it financially without you? And please stop talking about living in "the cellar" unless it has windows and is a real apartment. It sounds like a large house and she has relegated you for so long, you got used to it.

My advice is, Don't get used to alienation from your family. Sandi's words are true and spot on. Read her post again.

IS your T helping you understand your inherent worth?

And Why NOT talk to your French friend a bit? You need to talk in real life to someone. Be discreet, no character assassination but yes, discuss...

and talk to your d! Let her get to know you - and you get to know her, away from your w."