I think that your wife is trying to find out who she is. And she cant do that with you right now.
She was a wife for a long time and that defined her. She knew who she was as a wife and as part of a couple. Now she wants to figure out who she is as a person without the confines of that identity.
And truthfully, that is not a bad thing in a lot of ways. You guys got together at such a young age. She never really go to figure all that out before.
Thank you uRw, I couldn't agree more! This is why I will continue to give her all the space she needs, for as long as I can... which won't be forever.
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I went to a divorce support meetup group last night, looking to make some new friends and learn more. The group is aimed at people going through D, or already D. It was made clear several times that it is not a dating group.
There were 50-60 people there, many, like me, for their first time. It took over an hour to get through all the introductions, and I was surprised to learn that more than half of the people there were in long term marriages. Several women broke down and sobbed as they recounted their H’s betrayal. One man went on about how his W had him arrested, twice, for following and confronting her and her new lover. Many stories were very sad, but others quickly jumped in to comfort the people telling them. The more I listened, the more I felt thankful my sitch wasn’t as bad off.
Some of the people were “vets”, who were there to help others. They had happier stories of success after D.
In my introduction I made it clear that neither my wife nor I were actually in the D process, and that while we may end up there, I was still holding out hope for R. Being the fine group they are, they welcomed me and let me stay anyways! I also received the loudest, longest group laugh of the night with a witty opening comment, which made me feel good. Overall it was a positive experience, and I hope to go to their next meetup and make more friends, maybe even help someone save their M. Bust On, y'all!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
