Is there anything left....part 2

[Not Quitting]

H came over tonight to start packing up his stuff. He managed to fill one box tonight, but hasn't even touched his books in the upstairs bookcase, the rest of his clothes or anything else in the bedroom. The only room he tackled was the living room. He's coming over again tomorrow to do some more. He has asked about leaving his tools here for a while longer, and since they are in the back corner of the basement out of sight I don't mind that. He's also agreed to return his keys tomorrow night when he comes over, as long as I give him the duplicate keys to his tool boxes. No problem, agreed.

Once again, the time dragged while he was here and I found myself getting edgy and anxious for him to go. I left him to pack his own stuff, just keeping myself occupied in the same room so I could keep an eye on what's being taken. He got S13 to help him for a little while, until he got bored with packing that is . I can't wait until all his stuff is gone so I can get reorganized. Just looking at the empty bookshelves in the living room I realized that I'm going to have to do some serious dusting first though .

He was going to leave his boxes in the garage until they were all done, then arrange pick-up. He overhead part of a conversation where dad asked if he'd still be able to get the lawnmower out tomorrow as the grass needs cutting and H took it to mean that dad wants the boxes gone right away. Not much I could say - that's what happens when you eavesdrop and only get part of the conversation

[chasingpavements]

NQ, I am dealing with exactly the same issues right now, regarding H packing up all of his things! I know how you feel, I get edgy as well when he comes by in the evening to pack up things. I just don't even like having him in the same house. He came over a couple of nights ago and I told him he might as well pack a weeks worth of clothes to bring to his brother's house. Then he was putzing around downstairs packing himself a lunch for his work the next day. Arg! I imagine eventually he will be buying his own groceries.

I have this strong urge to pack up the rest of my H's belongings.. I would feel better if I did for sure, but I am going to leave it for now and he can do all of the work himself!!

Have a great day,
CP

[Not Quitting]

At least mine didn't help himself to food, just beer - but I can't say much about that as he specifically bought a case of beer to leave here for when he comes to visit. I won't pick it up for him anymore though.

I would have done it myself but figured why should I do the work when it was his decision to give up on the marriage and to move out.

He's going to be over again tonight to pack up some more stuff. Considering he's living in someone's spare room at the moment, guess he's going to have crowded living quarters with all his boxes . Not my problem - his choice.

[chasingpavements]

I feel the same way, they can pack up their own belongings since they are choosing to leave. I am also trying not to worry too much about how he is are going to make everything work with his moving out, like finding a new place, doing laundry, etc.

I used to take care of so many things for my husband, like making his appointments for him, etc. but now he is own his own.. no more help from this gal

[Not Quitting]

That's the spirit. It's his choice, so let him do all the heavy lifting as it were.

I know my H is having most of his meals cooked for him - he's paying for room and board so the older couple he's living with do provide his food (although from his comments I gather her cooking isn't as good as mine ) - however he's having to do his own laundry. That probably doesn't bother him though - he was an "at home dad" for six years by choice and he did all the cooking, most of the cleaning and laundry during the week. I only did that on the weekends.

I'm considering spending one Sunday while he's here visiting S13 in the kitchen doing a load of batch cooking for the freezer. Let the smell of home cooking that he's used to waft around the house . Maybe that's just an evil streak showing through LOL

[AnotherStander]

I've equated my W's moving out as a "slow bleed". She would come over darned near every night and take a few things. Grab some clothes, pack a few things in a box, take some kitchen utensils, etc. etc. I finally told her to pick a date and commit to being 100% moved out by that date. I told her anything she left after that I would assume was either mine or could be tossed out. I also asked her to sit down with me to discuss big ticket items so I wouldn't be "surprised" by anything she took. We had a meeting the next evening and negotiated what she would take, then set a date. I moved the larger items into the garage for her. She took that Friday off and got a couple of friends to help her move everything out. For me it was much less painful to just get it all over with than it was to have her coming over every couple of days to poke around and take a few things.

[Not Quitting]

It's kind of a "slow bleed" with me - just in the fact that it's taken him this long to actually get around to picking up more than the bag of clothes and his computer that he took when he left nearly three months ago.

I don't have to worry about the big ticket items - the house and everything in it furniture-wise belongs to my dad so neither of us have any claim to any of that stuff. All H is packing up is a few ornaments and gadgets, four shelves worth of books, a couple of tool boxes and the rest of his clothes. We scheduled last night and tonight to get it all done. He's already stacked some stuff off to the side that is being donated to charity. I gave him two nights because he works shifts and I want to be there just to keep an eye on what is actually being taken.

He's already said that some of the clothes he doesn't want any longer so I just said add it to the stack and I'll call one of the charities next week for a pickup. By that time, I'll have had time to go through S13's clothes and pull out the stuff that's too small for him now - and my wardrobe as well while I'm thinking about that. May as well make it worthwhile for the charity. S13 also has some books that are too young for him - they can go as well.

And with H taking his tool boxes, it meant I was able to use my duplicate keys to the locks as a bargaining chip to get his house keys back, since he was reluctant to part with them - in case of an emergency he said. My answer to that was "if it's an emergency feel free to kick the door in".

Look TTD and MH, now I've started my decluttering plan . I'll just have to use MH's timer method and 3-minute rule to actually get it started.

[TryingToDo180]

NQ, you can always get a chain for the door like I'm going to do if I can't get the key back off him Well done for your decluttering plan I always think it looks so bare when their stuff has gone. I've still got a fairly empty book case in the living room, mainly because it's too heavy for me to move on my own and H won't do it. He can be quite stubborn at times, the lawnmower is still in the garage waiting to be fixed!
I've just packed up some more of H's books in 2 big bags waiting to be collected next time. If he doesn't take them then they're going on the garage waiting until I can get to a boot sale You should do that with your H's stuff NQ, flog it! Revenge is oh so sweet
When my H left me he took most of his stuff out of the house when I wasn't there and I came home to find a bed and a chest of drawers gone. I was finding things missing for days afterwards! Even recently I still find things that aren't there anymore and it's been 5 months now! He's still got a lot of his stuff here that I need to get him to sort out or dispose of, preferably for me to flog
CP, I feel for you when you said he helps himself to your food. My H does that as well and it's not like I've got a lot of money to feed him as well as us two as I've not got a job yet.
Mine's been a 5 month slow bleed, lol. Eben when I'm decluttering my own stuff I come across something of his. I'll get there eventually, I just need to spend some time decluttering and not having to do any paperwork for a change!

[AnotherStander]

[quote=Not Quittingin case of an emergency he said. My answer to that was "if it's an emergency feel free to kick the door in". [/quote]

ROTFLOL!!! That's an AWESOME response!

[Not Quitting]

He's supposed to be bringing the keys back tonight when he comes to finish packing. We already have a chain on the door, and he could probably lean hard on the door and it would break - not much of a security chain if you ask me .

I've currently got three empty shelves in the living room. Actually they not quite empty - there's an awful lot of dust on them. Guess one of us was a bit remiss in dusting his ornaments/shelf .

I'd love to flog his stuff, but unfortunately in Ontario the law is against me on that move. It would classify as theft, and/or selling stolen property. I can't even legally just pile them up on the front lawn for him to collect - just like they do in the movies .