wife hardends heart-4

[planet]

I don't get it. How is that "punishing" your family? She wanted to do something nice. You don't have to do it, but don't think it's punishing them. Deep down she could feel sorry even if she doesn't show it to you.

I bought some cakes for my kids and W's parents in line with an upcoming traditional festival. W wanted to return the gesture last night but specifically mentions only giving it to my father. How do I take the fruits home and just give it to dad and how would that make my mom feels? I don't think its nice of W to do just that.

Why? You're not together any more, you should have told her things from your point of view.

I had a hard time telling her things from my perspective. Threading a very fine line without sounding vindictive. MIL have had a torrid time dealing with her own MIL. W's paternal grandma literally spew 'venom' at MIL. I have heard the stories from W and i think this had effected W very deeply as a young kid. W thinks my mom and sis has some conspiracy to get rid of her. MIL and W even came out with an idea that they hated W because W wouldn't want to be a christian! I know my parents and sis have been praying for us and bore no ill will.

But let's be very clear. You weren't the best H in the world. So don't start talking as if you were a saint.

I own up to my mistakes. I have never denied them. I don't even deny my parent's mistakes. I have stated this very clearly to MIL but she just goes on and on.