Hello Bond....If you mean what exactly was my birthday message it was as follows: -----, Happy Birthday, enjoy your day! I also added an emicon bd cake (its small) with animated candles. Simple thing gmail has with in its email service. I took you what you had said and kept it upbeat and short. I did not put my name to it either. Now as I said I will go back to being dark n/c. I also kept in mind NO EXPECTATIONS. ALthough it would of been nice for her to say thanks. I know I did the right thing and I feel good about it.
Hopefully this is what your were asking about....With my Bday in 3 weeks I am accepting she will not do the same. Since she seems to be n/c herself now I do not expect a bday greeting from her.
No Bond, I had no intention of going over the top. I think at this point there is little hope of R with us. I have been coming to that reality slowly but surely. She has shown a steady and growing coldness towards me for all of the 5 months this has go on. It also appears that she has decided to go n/c even more than she already was. I accept there is no use in trying to guess any longer what she might be thinking. I also accept the idea she just may file for D.
I have been feeling good about my going dark and n/c. I understand at some point she may reach out but, NO EXPECTATIONS is now my mantra......
Well, that is an email I received from my W this evening. Nice to see she had the descency to say thanks. Yes, I understand it doesn't mean anything other than she felt compelled to say thank you.
Well, that is an email I received from my W this evening. Nice to see she had the descency to say thanks. Yes, I understand it doesn't mean anything other than she felt compelled to say thank you.
2old, I think you have moved the needle a little bit and that is good. A positive response and one that was unexpected, so even better.
A month after I found out about my H's PA, was our 25 wedding anniversary. I still got him what I was going to get him "as if" we were okay in our R, something he loved and meaningful to him. I got...nothing. 25 years and nothing. I asked him out to dinner and we went and it was nice, but still no positive feelings from him. So I think what you got back from your W was a small, but great step.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Hi PM, yes, it was small but you seem to be right, it was a step. I truly expected nothing back from her as her coldness seemed to be growing. If you read thru my thread you know I sent her an anniversary email and also asked for her intentions. 5 days later I got back an email saying how she would get back to me on the matter of filing for divorce. Thats when I knew and really decided to go n/c dark and fully put in place DBing.
Surprisingly to me, I felt so much better by doing this. Excersizing some control over the sitch. So to peek out for just a moment to wish HB served 2 purposes. Doing the right thing and taking a temperature of the moment. Was surprised she even responded. ANd yes, I realize it doesn't mean alot but as you said it is indeed a step. So now I am back to n/c with no expectations of anything further from her. Unless of course she wishes me the HB for me in 3 weeks....
That;s great news 2old and I'm glad you're not sending her a reply back as I think the old 2old would've done Glad that your mantra is now no expectations. Keep positive
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I'll just add to the good job comments. That can be a very difficult thing to do... keeping communication simple and not complicated and not responding to everything. And it's great that you've experienced that bit of peace that comes with exercising that control.
