Bea, I could not agree with you more. In the last year plus I have said that very phrase. What kind of a person [fill in the blank]? God knows I was not perfect but when we decided to "break up" when we headed off to graduate school at opposite ends of the country, I made sure I kept in touch, I kept him informed and he had an open invitation to visit any time. He got so upset when he saw me again, I held him until he felt better. Obviously the break up didn't stick but I guess at the very beginning of all of this, I just could not wrap my head around how he so seemingly easily he walked away.
You are right, I don't know what his life is like. I know mine will be fine.
Snodderly, I think you should tell us to put a dollar in a jar every time you find out you are right. Out if the blue, he texted me this afternoon. Just the generic how are you. I don't have my phone on during meetings and I haven't answered yet. Wow, less than a month. But I am in a better place than I was two days ago. The anger seems to hit me like a bullet sometimes. Thank you for saying you noticed my growth. I am glad you can't see my occasional temper tantrum. 😄
But on the whole I am doing really well. I am entering a busy season at work for which I am grateful. The deadlines tend to keep me motivated. I thought that I would become a worse workaholic than I was but nope, concentration is at a minimum. Parent is doing well even if he the worst patient on the planet. The hospital will call us when he needs to go in. I am brushing up on my cribbage game.
Bright, I love that your situation is so similar to mine (not that I don't wish so much better for you!!) I just mean that I sometimes feel crazy to still be missing someone after all that has happened even as I am fuming. And that I have no idea still what role, if any, I would allow him to play in my life if he ever did start contacting me frequently.
So I am trying not to think about it. And do what Snodderly says. Keep me on track and my goals in sight.
Now that I am in a better frame of mind I will make sure to catch up with everyone. I try not to contaminate others PMA when I am having an off day.
