Learning compassion

[25yearsmlc]

Rock

you seemed to be asking if it's possible that you were a fine h and though slightly flawed -no matter

You are saying that even if you had been perfect, she'd leave anyhow...that it's pretty much all her.

That YOUR real mistake was marrying the wrong person.

I truly think that your statement^^ there, will doom you in your future r's...

b/c it makes you powerless over relationships you are in.

It is POSSIBLE to have a totally one sided marital breakdown, but I have only seen it rarely. In fact only Once that I can think of.

And your behavior since the bomb, when you repeatedly involve other people in your marital problems, (fb and the church)

and the way you cling to your belief that you are completely right abut it, and how you show literally NO insight into why we feel as we do, (which is a bit of a theme in your posts.

The inability to see two points of view as possibly equal in value, that your bias and ratioalizations are just as dangerous as your wife's, is harmful to your growth).

You have made statements that you'd "Do the same things all over again" no matter how many of us are horrified by it, and to me, that

shows me a man who wants to be declared "right".

A man who has not learned much, except elsewhere you admit that your r's with your d's were pretty shallow before.

You realize it now, and you are glad to be getting closer to them.

But when I asked what YOU WOULD do differently, you never mention being a better dad, even though elsewhere you admit you have gotten much closer to your d's, and I think closer to your father too.

So it Sounds as if You had too little intimacy with anyone, not just your w.

So that's why I doubt you played no role in this. Sorry.