Looking for New Options If H Wants Divorce

[MyNewStrength]

I dont believe you messed up. i dont see it that way.

you need to decide if you want to save the M or not. and this should be done with a clear mind and with less emotions.

your feelings and emotions are normal. its ok to be distraught and angry and sad. betrayal is hard to deal with. it damages your ego and beliefs. it really gets to your core.

BUT, do not let your emotions control your actions. or do not let them make your situation worse.

personally, i wish you could tell the OWs husband. i dont know if others would agree with me, but if i were him i'd want to know. i believe people should deal with the fallout of their actions. if your h doesnt want others to know, then he shouldnt have done it. Of course this would make the situation much more chaotic, so you would need to think about it long and hard, and also check with your lawyer to make sure its not illegal.

but for now, get your thoughts straight, talk to your lawyer. decide on the path you want to take.

I am not sure if the marriage is salvageable at this point especially where the h has told me in no uncertain terms and through his action that he does NOT want to be married to me. He wants to be with OW +. Right now I feel like filing on the grounds of adultery and hiring a PI to get the proof for the settlement. However, am I just acting on emotions?

"H, after packing up and before running out the front door turned to me to say, maybe time apart will give us time to clear our heads and we will talk, but do not call or text."

I just turned and cried. He felt no sense of remorse or guilt. I feel like I will fall a lot more before I am able to stand.

I spoke to my lawyer. I can change the locks but since it is jointly titled, he could have it change as well. In addition, it could be seen as me preventing him from our "joint" home since we do not have an agreement in place and he could elect to stop payment on the mortgage and the utilities.

So, I am going to change the keypad code on the garage door. He does not carry house keys, so what will happen is that he will not be able to enter the home without me being here especially if I am not contacting him or responding to him. I am going totally dark to save my sanity.

The question about saving my marriage is troubling me because if it were EVEN possible, would I be setting myself up for him to walk away again and I am not sure if I want to experience that a 3rd time. I pray for myself and him and have done so since he walked away the 1st time, but I am not sure if I can pray for him now because of his treatment of me. But to be have joy in our lives, we must be able to pray for those who have done us wrong. I guess I can pray for him, but it will be a mighty short prayer.
friend