I am in a similar sitch, in that I am back again due to my H second PA. I won't go into details here as I have posted on the Newcomer forum. However, I think I slipped back into some old ways too, as well as my H. I don't think he ever forgave me for the original EA I had and then what proceeded after that. He then seemed to be angry, and fed up with people at work and took out issues on our son and I could not figure out how to deal with that because he wouldn't talk about it. He had turned into this big, whiny complaining person that just did not seemed to be happy. He no longer could joke about simple things, which is unusual because we have the most sophomoric humor that we both laugh at. This led to my situational depression to where I blocked him out. I'm sure he took this as personal rejection. So here I am. So much for not going into detail, lol.
Anyhoo, I feel the same way that I dislike that our M has been reduced to nothing. Finding ways to make it through the tough stuff is exactly what I said to him when he told me he was tired of the problems and the same patterns. To me we never resolved the previous patterns or did either of us make the effort to change for real. So we slipped back.
I want to know that I will give this my absolute best effort and I can see you feel that way too. Because after all, it's not about getting revenge, it's about DOING THE RIGHT THING and feeling good about the choices you made. It will make you a person of stronger moral character to know you stick to what you believe.
Good luck! I'll be watching you
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
