Looking for New Options If H Wants Divorce

[KenF]

I dont believe you messed up. i dont see it that way.

you need to decide if you want to save the M or not. and this should be done with a clear mind and with less emotions.

your feelings and emotions are normal. its ok to be distraught and angry and sad. betrayal is hard to deal with. it damages your ego and beliefs. it really gets to your core.

BUT, do not let your emotions control your actions. or do not let them make your situation worse.

personally, i wish you could tell the OWs husband. i dont know if others would agree with me, but if i were him i'd want to know. i believe people should deal with the fallout of their actions. if your h doesnt want others to know, then he shouldnt have done it. Of course this would make the situation much more chaotic, so you would need to think about it long and hard, and also check with your lawyer to make sure its not illegal.

but for now, get your thoughts straight, talk to your lawyer. decide on the path you want to take.