If she wants to discuss D stuff, my inclination would just be to say, "We can talk about it when I return."
Just because she's suddenly in a hot rush doesn't mean you should be hasty. It makes sense to take some time to think. And breathe.
She's been screwing with you for 10 years. She doesn't need any immediate answers. I think it's more important to take the time to think about what you want, on your timeline. Wait long enough until you are certain that you are not just reacting to W's urgency and the fear of angering her.
Don't do (say) anything that you can't do from a place of strength and conviction.
If W says, "I want...", think, "So what? Here's what I want..." Demonstrate that you won't be jumping through the hoops she puts in front of you. Don't explain. Demonstrate.
