14th Thread to Somewhere Uncertainly

[TSquared2]

Short update...

It may be that W is revisiting some replay doors, hopefully to close them for good. Maybe like rH's H did...

I was a bit spun up about it, but just more frustrated and disappointed...W cannot devastate me anymore.

After thinking about it for 72 hours, consulting with a couple few others, I am going to sit quietly. Do something different than I did 2 years ago August, and say nothing this time. Nada, nicht, zip. I didn't like the results I got 2 years ago. As far as I know, I am not insane, so will not do the same thing expecting a different result this time.

I do believe she is watching to see if I know/say anything...and if I do, how does the new+old T2 handle it? Perfect time to show the new me, that I have worked through my own baggage, insecurities, controlling, jealousy, etc. Maybe a test, maybe not, who knows? I do think I have a good handle on the possible "whys"...so we just let it be. Make allowances. Keep treading the high road, etc.

The 72 hour rule is a very effective tool to master for life in general.

Interesting reading LoisB's thread this morning...Snodderly's replies were just what I should hear as well, reminders of this reality and what it is and how to navigate it.

I'd rather see you do that than to continue pointing out his flaws/faults. He already knows that he's a screwed up mess and doesn't need reminders of it.
To create a safe place for him to land, you have to let some of this stuff go. You need to remember that you have already pointed out his faults early on and you do not need to remind him again. It's just like people continue to bring up conversations w/their mlcers about the op. Until they feel safe enough to want to land and reconcile, they won't do it if they feel that the spouse is going to remind them each and every time they've done something wrong in the past. That's why many mlcers and was do not return home...too much work and too many reminders of what they've done.

"Aloof but available" and "as if" continue to be my M.O., and focusing on the kids and myself, with small "reach outs" to W as they are available.

Otherwise, I'm doing great! Continuing my own flavor of GAL, knocking off projects important and non, as I see fit, or as real life necessitates (and it does do that, lol).

That's about it...