You can purchase a bottle of ~400 tiny soft gels of Vitamin D3 from any store with a pharmacy section for about $10. Even just the smallest dose of 5,000 IUs (one small pill) once per day typically raises blood serum levels to a healthy range.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
You guys are right. Since I posted - with my heart banging against my chest and feeling like I would die because 'the worst' had happened (well, potentially, anyway), I've had time to dredge my personal resources up from whatever depths they inhabit these days.
I need to stop looking at the account details. It's been really upsetting, these last few months, to have a window on his life and to see how much he continues to spend for his own gratification. And now this extra 'news'.
I've inflicted this sadness and upset on myself, by looking. Kept telling myself that it was so i could report to the CS agency and get more money to support the kids, or that i needed to keep an eye on a joint account.
Also, it was sort of like driving past a car crash - you know you won't want to see what awful things may have happened, but you just can't look away.
But really, I don't need to look at the transaction history. And I've stopped already. I don't want to know any more.
Final trial is coming up and there are all sorts of issues around this that i can't discuss here, just in case. But it is an extremely fraught time.
I don't need more worry.
I'm doing well with the kids, and want to keep them on an even keel (as much as possible).
I will not check the account and I will get it out of my head.
Got some good news and some bad today - or at least some perspectivising news.
Good friend of mine, much younger - early 30s - has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Two lumps detected and a full mastectomy advised.
She is a sunny, happy person whose response was "Well at least they say I probably don't have to have chemo."
Made me think. A lot. Time to stop being a victim. Stop wasting my life thinking about how hard done-by I am.
I'm healthy and so are my kids.
And then i got the call from Child Support.
My case worker has been scrutinising xh's bank accounts and reported that, based on his recent spending, she is conservatively estimating his annual income as 3 times higher than he reported.
We will be getting 3X as much support on a monthly basis and also be entitled to a lump sum to back pay the underpayments.
If they can make him pay.
The relief was massive. I've not been so happy for years.
On another note, after months of no contact, an email from him today asking if he could come and collect his MRIs that were taken following his brain aneurisms 18 years ago.
Oh NLW I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I am glad she has a sunny attitude. I wish her the best.
Regarding the child support, your X was trying hard to hide what the professionals have discovered. And yes even though he is ordered to pay X amount, doesn't mean he WILL pay X amount. That is the stinky part. It is difficult to get the money if they don't want to pay it. Even if the wages are garnished, these men can and will make things difficult. Don't think I haven't considered it in my situation.
I will continue to send good vibes and prayers to you. Take care.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Last night, had a flood-gates-opening style phone call from XH (after he'd appeared, unannounced, at S14's annual school music concert with OW in tow after not contacting the kids for 2 months).
Huge outpouring of all the same old when XH rang at 10pm to speak to S14 about why he'd not bothered to speak to XH and OW at the concert.
S14 let rip a log the lines of "you ruined my night and humiliated me in front of my friends".
Apparently they sat right in the front row of the big hall, inches away from where S14 was positioned in the orchestra (and he could hear OW saying his name in conversation with XH throughout the three-hour performance. I sat with D17 on the balcony upstairs so we wouldn't have to be near them).
Anyway, you've all probably been there.
One thing XH said stumped me a bit (he rang back to berate me about S14's behaviour after S14 hung up on him):
"Why do you still care about someone who has treated you so despicably?" If you still care about me, you need to go and get some help."
I didn't know what to say. Is it a 'poor me' cry for support/ check to see if I'm still hanging on? or is it a valid, rational question/suggestion? or just a snide, insulting assessment?
To put things in context, i don't think I implied that i was hanging out, at all, for xh to come back in our lengthy conversation/argument.
Next morning, a new settlement offer is emailed to me and Lawyer, which is massively more generous than anything so far.
