One giant leap forward! - Part 6

[labug]

So T, is this about being a good father to your children or teaching your W a lesson? I get confused. And if you and your W get D, and you have strong boundaries, why does this thing matter so much?

How is this

The only power I have involves me using the kids to see them less, if she calls me on it to prove a point where does that leave me?

any different from what you say she's doing? How does this help your kids?

I know I asked long ago what kind of man you want to be. It's in these moments that the character of a person really shows through.

It seems you want to through kerosene on the fire to put it out. The battle you are fighting has nothing to do with your kids it has to do with who has the supposed power in the R. You and W are the kids in the backseat of the car again.

What is it you really want?

If you well and truly can't drive every weekend to get the kids then say that. If she can't drive them to you, then you know what you have to do if you want to see them. If you can't, you can't. You say you don't want to have these interactions with W but you continue to engage. If she can't bring them to you, you say fine and you go pick them up or not. There doesn't have to be another conversation about it at all. "Thank you very much, W I can't be there this weekend" or "Thank you very much W, see you on Sunday."

You said upthread you want to try and make her responsible. Who is the one person you control? How does trying to control people usually work out?

There was another book I suggested you read, The Four Agreements:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.
Always do your best.

Don't use your children as bargaining chips. They didn't ask to be put in the middle of this.