I've read through your newest posts Lanzo. Again, sorry to find you here and involved in D.
It still stuns me to see the behavior people think is acceptable to treat their spouses so badly, let alone their children. (i.e., your W would have taken the hand of a stranger in church!...but not her spouse) It just breaks my heart. I can only believe that their current actions will come around to bite them in the a** in the future at some point.
I also believe in doing the right thing for myself and my inner moral compass, regardless of their behavior. It's the only thing I can control and also always feel good about myself.
Keep plugging on Lanzo. I'm with you in spirit.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.