T, been reading your sitch for a few months now. And i'll jump right in. I was married to a person like this for 12 years(1st M) and to be honest part of the reason i'm here now is because I let her dictate TOO much of this marriage. Sandi is so on point with her thoughts. This woman still to this day and we've been divorced for 8 years still use my kids as a weapon. Ex I pay child support and winter time hits she sends the kids to my house no coats, WHY? because she knew I would just go buy them. And that is minor compared to all that has happened, i'd need more hard drive space to tell it all.
She knew my dad left me and I vowed to NEVER be that guy and she used it against me every chance she got, even though it was her who cheated and left with my kids. It was me who went against fighting anything: Her taking the kids and moving so on and so forth, because I didn't wanna rock the boat or make my kids upset that i'd take them from their mother(Her words). So I did like i'd done all through our history together, bowed down and let her have her way. To put it bluntly I created a monster and I was dealing with it. I even cosigned a car for her because she said she had to have "my kids" ride to school with people I didn't consider to be law abiding citizens. So with that I help her get a car,(LEXUS at that stupid me) that she allowed to be reposessed and this is post divorce. It wasn't until maybe a year ago I saw the light. I'm a damn good father, i've NEVER missed a game, conference, back to school night or swim meet. My kids are older now (14,12,11) so that helps and they know i'm always there and that's all that matters to me.
I know you have to get to that point but PLEASE heed sandi, she will drive if you make that a requirement, I know because I had to make my XW accountable. But she knows T is a GREAT dad and HE will come get his kids. I know you might wanna believe different but she is who she is. Stop arguing with her respond with clarity and authority and just watch how things change. The ball is in your court. This isn't about making her suffer either it's about a responsibility to co parent effectively, and it doesn't matter if she has the kids all the time or "more than you" that wasn't your choice so don't wear that outfit it doesn't fit you bro.
