I am titanium

[Raine]

uR - I'm continuing to feel what I feel, and not making excuses for it and being okay with it. I feel I have some level of forgiveness in my heart towards him, otherwise I just couldn't be around him, and we are together an awful lot, but I'm also giving him a lot of space.

GG - Thanks for stopping in and following It'll be interesting to see where our stories take us, where I feel we started out at the same spot, but our Hs just walked to the beat of their own drum. I think too often we think each MLC is going to get to the same place in the end, but this forum has opened my eyes to that. I don't feel secure that my M will be reconciled. And if it is, I don't feel it's anytime soon. I hope you are in a very good place, your kids are well, and you're all finding the love in life

snodderly I hear you on the need for patience. It has been a tough lesson for this Miss Impatience to learn the last year. This process of planning, this is how I build patience. It may not be for everyone, but these are the blocks I have to stack, and organize, and evaluate to make it possible to continue holding strong. I have to have a game plan. I have to keep thinking two steps ahead so I know how I will react, and so I know if and how it's possible for me to keep going. If I can do that, then I can put my mind to rest and stop thinking about it. I can file it away and not spin on it anymore, irregardless if I ever use it in the future.

The last three weeks since I had those major conversations with him have been extremely difficult. The fear was there that it was moving towards something I was not capable of. That I see the possibility of him wanting "us," but I could not see me being able to do that, without finding away to address and overcome all this pain and hurt. Finding that solution was the ticket for me to put those concerns to rest and allow me to continue on. It may never need to be used, but I have a viable solution now that I know will work for me and for him. Because one thing I do know: he will do anything he can to meet something I need, even now, even when we were separated. That has never changed. What has changed is I don't ask.

AJ you just made me feel 10' tall. If I get your approval, I know I'm doing something right!

MM, hey! Thanks for stopping in and reading my threads. I hope they're helping you. It was interesting to see what quotes you had pulled to your thread and how they affected you. That timeline you started from is where things started to change with my H. It was the point he saw his family slipping away, and realizing that he was losing his family for these OW, and it was not worth it.

TVS, you know it's probably good we are not close together. We would wreck some havoc on those boys of ours. No, not our cute sons, but our crazy Hs. I completely relate to everything you're putting down. Can we get some more good stuff going on with at least one of us so it will filter down?

Hey Woka Woka Wonka! I so agree. If it gets to that point, this kind of "ugh" stuff needs to happen in counseling. I like the idea of finding a Gottman C too. We are so far from that though. I still feel like he doesn't want a R, just the security of the home, the boys, and me, without any commitment.