I heartily agree. Being large and in charge doesn't mean you go in cussing her out, calling her names, etc - it simply means NO MORE.
I can recall with XW when she brought the guy she was sleeping with to my son's basketball game - we had been separated almost a year, but she wouldn't follow through with divorce. My parents were there, as well. She had said something about him coming, and I remember telling her that if she brought him, I would leave. I didn't threaten, yell, cuss, demean - none of that.
Up to this point, I had kissed her butt for EVERYTHING - always fearful I'd push here away. Well, she showed up with him, and I literally had the coach call a time out, pulled my son out, grabbed our coats and walked out. I remember being so scared I was literally shaking - so hard, my father had to drive my car for me.
W cussed me out, told me she would take me for everything I had, keep the kids, blah blah blah - but it was from that point on that I regained my manhood, and things started getting better. Two months later, she threw the guy out, and threw his stuff on her lawn after finding a text about him using her as a place to stay.
Obviously, we're divorced, but to this day, she defers to me, respects me, defends me against critics.
