I've been away from boards for a few month so figured it's time for a quick update. Well truth be told Mach1 called me out for not being on the boards. I gave him some excuses but he saw through it like he does and after some constructive usage of guilt I'm happily back.
All in all I'm doing really good. The XW moved out of the house shortly after my B-day. I was feeling pretty detached going into that event and that seemed to be the last thing I needed because I'm now completely and truly detached from her. I really don't think of her at all anymore. Sadly we don't talk much but it surprisingly doesn't bother me. We'll send the co-parenting text when needed but that's about it. I told her when she left that I would let her dictate what our relationship turns into and I'm fine with it this way.
I've been busy hanging out with friends and meeting some new people. Picked up a couple new hobbies that I'm enjoying. Running/ exercise is still going pretty good, 20 mile run tomorrow AM.
I've decided to stay in my house until next spring to give the kids a familiar place to call home. I know they are struggling at their mom's so didn't want to switch up anything more then needed. They are doing really good in their new school and when they are with me things are great. I hope they figure out a routine when they are with the XW (heard they are fighting with each other a lot and D8 has complained that mom doesn't pay attention to them very much ). As much as that bothers me I can't do anything about it. I just make sure are routine is constant and they know they are loved and important when they are with me. We do have a lot of fun when they're here.
The one thing I've noticed and this may sound weird is that I think I've become an even better parent since the XW moved away. Before I was trying to juggle being a dad with doing my own thing. Now when I have the kids I am 100% on with them and nothing else comes up because I know 50% of my time I'm without them so I can do my thing and get the other chores done at those times. Don't get me wrong, I still miss them like crazy and would prefer to see them everyday but I'm making the best of this new situation.
I did join the dating world more or less by accident. Met a girl on the running team that I hung out with a few times and we still talk but I just didn't feel a spark so made sure she understood we were friends. Right after that I golfed with girl from work and we started talking. Been seeing her for last 4-5 weeks and it's been exciting and fun. We have a lot in common and enjoy hanging out. It's nice to have someone to talk with and do things with.
That's about it. I feel really good and strong right now and it's been quite a while since I've had a "bad day" so things are good. Now I better go catch up on some other's threads before Mach finds me in my own thread . LOL
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Hey Spartan, good to hear from you and it sounds like you're in a really good place, congrats! Are you referring to your W as XW because you're D'd now, or because of the S? To me that's a term for after D, some people use STBXW when D is in the works but personally I'm still using "W" even though my W is in the process of doing the D paperwork. Anyway, good to see you back and good luck on the 20 miler
You sound really good Spartan. Its nice to have you back (Thanks Mach for 'constructive usage of guilt' !)
You seem to be a good place emotionally, which is all we can aim forr after something like this.
Hope to keep seeing you around
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
The one thing I've noticed and this may sound weird is that I think I've become an even better parent since the XW moved away. Before I was trying to juggle being a dad with doing my own thing. Now when I have the kids I am 100% on with them and nothing else comes up because I know 50% of my time I'm without them so I can do my thing and get the other chores done at those times.
I have noticed this in myself as well. I am much more focused on my kids now than I was. I think it was because my W was always the one doing the "hugging" so to speak, so I just let her play out that role while I tried to fill the gaps other places. Now, I'm like "I want some hugs too!"
But it's also because of the 50/50 split, and I have plenty of "me time," not to mention the fact that I have significantly less stress in my life.
). As much as that bothers me I can't do anything about it. I just make sure are routine is constant and they know they are loved and important when they are with me. We do have a lot of fun when they're here.
. LOL
Are you referring to your W as XW because you're D'd now, or because of the S? To me that's a term for after D, some people use STBXW when D is in the works but personally I'm still using "W" even though my W is in the process of doing the D paperwork. Anyway, good to see you back and good luck on the 20 miler