I've been following your sitch for a long time. My heart goes out to you and your family.
How to be pro-active toward W?
First things first. Your lack of self-respect, self-worth and self-confidence is projected outward and your family picks up on that...especially W. Because of that lack, W treats you with contempt and acts accordingly.
You come across in your posts as Eeyore. No wonder your W beats up on the 'horse' that's you.
To address your question above, my strong recommendation is for you to start walking with your shoulders thrown back and back straight. Start practicing that until it becomes comfortable and then it will seep into your pores. Then you'll start believing in yourself.
Start doing this with your work colleagues and the public EVERY single moment. Speak in friendly, confident, & steady tone.
