Sorry it's been awhile - I was out of town and just got back. Glad you updated and others chimed in with good observations.
Animals lash out when they are hurt and want to be left alone. Even if he deliberately says stuff that is mean and meant to hurt, try to resist the urge to become the victim. Instead, go really low key and maybe say, "Ouch" and then walk away. Come here if you want some sympathy.
And that advice lends itself well with your goals:
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My big things right now: -Listen more than I speak -No expectations....this is hard...but I am slowly improving -Patience -Kindness
Backtracking:
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maybe if I turn that processor how I interact with my H, I wonder what results I will see?
Exactly!
Back to your goals... a friend once told me that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth so we'd do twice as much listening as talking. I think that's a really wise concept. Going a little further, when the water is safe enough for you to dip a toe in, maybe encourage his musings and allow him to speak freely. Tell yourself that you're information gathering and don't react. You might be surprised.
Patience and kindness go a LONG way in healing. Go with this. Set out to make every communication with him positive and meaningful. By doing this, you'll be showing him you can change. As I always tell people, don't tell me stuff. SHOW me stuff. Words are cheap.
Good luck! And good job!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
