wife hardends heart-4

[planet]

I just remembered something.
D3 asked to go to the toilet. W as usual will asked me to go help her out which under any normal circumstances i would be glad to do it. In fact, she will direct any other people who she think would do it instead of her. She's not doing anything most of the time. It is not just this but many other different situations like getting her mobile, charger, pen, etc.
This has been bothering me since we are married. I have complained to her a few times. If she wants something, she should go get it herself.
D4 complained a couple of days ago when W asked her to go get her mobile. D4 said to W, 'Why do you always ask me to do things?'. D3 heard that and volunteered to do it and W praise D3 which made D4 felt pretty guilty. D4 was practically begging W that she's a good girl too.
OM too will do things for her as requested when she could do it herself.
That being said, I did not do as 'directed' and instead told her firmly to do it herself. She stared at me but relented moments later.
Should I 'help' her out as i always have?
One of her complaints after BD was that i complaint fetching what she wanted. Prior to that she will lay out the guilt trip.
Am i pushing her away if i don't wish play fetch?