I have not had much time to post lately on my own thread. Has not been much to update. Life just gets in the way.
I am a little embarrassed that everyone was congratulating me on my declarations of having lots of changes. I actually meant to say that until I have made those changes I don't know if I am ready to speak to xSO.
I have evolved since BD just over a year ago. Who does not change because of this experience? I am speaking of more general changes, things like renovations should be done and projects that I was going to complete. Given all the so called changes he has made I don't want him to see me as stuck in the same place. I know he won't have a clue just how far I have come since BD. I want to know, even if I don't say it that or if he asks directly that those projects are done etc. There is little sense in trying to explain that it took me six months to breathe again.
I am not sure I am making any sense but I am so resentful of all these changes of his. His great life without me. All for the good, he said.
I have not heard a peep from him and I may not. But I did assuage my curiosity. At a time I knew he would be working I called his home number. I blocked mine before calling. Every suspicion I had was true. His number was out of service. I am guessing he moved. Don't know if he moved in with OW. But apparently I am not worth the effort of telling. This would have had to be in works for some time.
MLC. The death of love by a thousand cuts.
I am so angry at him and so resentful of her. She gets a shoulder to lean on and support going through her divorce and I have had only me. Now my parent is going back in hospital for a couple of weeks to await surgery. Again.
I do not want to be angry or bitter but right now I am.
