The Final Chapter

[AJM]

Hey Upside. Some random thoughts about this latest set of events.

Have you ever considered it is not about what he wants, but rather what you want? Hear me out. What I'm thinking is that if you're on the fence and he's still trying to figure things out, then your actions may be mirrored in some twisted way. You're once bitten..so it's understandable that you're spinning a bit as he changes. He obviously wants you in his life, but that may not be what you want if he can't be what you what need at this point in your life. Your spinning emotions make it hard for him to read and he reacts in a timid way, and you begin to wonder what the heck is up with him. Kind of like a dance in a way...

Figure out what you want and settle for nothing less. It's up to him to either try and catch up or not. It's up to you to let him go if you need to in order to get what you need. The hard part is differentiating between having feelings for him and him being able to reciprocate and meet your needs as well. You do not seem to be able to figure his out, which makes it harder. The superficial you can see pretty easily, but what it is he really needs is much more hidden. Yours are so far undecided.

I'm not saying things should be in an absolute sense figured out, but you should have a good idea what you will and will not accept and work toward that without wondering if you left anything on the table, right?

It's a journey, Upside. It's not a destination, so you'll continuously change things as time goes on. That's ok. That's part of life. For now, if you wait and see you'll see what he's about. If you live your life and he comes along, that's great too. If he doesn't, that's his loss and he'll have to figure out how to get past it.

My thoughts anyway.

Peace,
AJ