"came home at 22.15, stayed outside an hour to build up my courage by rereading your posts and mentally rehearsing, came in quietly and went upstairs. W had taken my bed stuff downstairs again, so I just laid on the bed, clothes on, heart slamming, but no reaction from W."
I have you once before what is the worst she could do. I was thinking maybe chase you with a butch knife and threaten to kill you. You said she glares at you. As far as I know, glares have never killled anyone yet.
I thought you had resolved to turn your home life around by acting like the man of the house. Now you are actually asking why you HAVE A RIGHT TO BE UPSTAIRS IN YOUR OWN HOME! My gosh, Luke, why don't you just move outside and get a dog house to sleep in? B/c it won't be much longer that you will be asking what right you have to step inside your house. That is the most outlandish statement I have ever heard a man say!
The M is over, but you need to think about what this is teaching your daughter. She will think, "My dad is pathetic and I will make sure I find a man with some guts.". Then she will end up with some terrible person who treats her badly b/c she mistakes it for manliness. Your children have not had a role model of what the man of the family/marriage/home should be. They have seen you coward down and hide in closets to avoid their mother's disapproval. Their mother has been the man in their life. I hate to think how that will affect their future relationships with the opposite sex.
I hope you will begin making decisions about your house, instead of leaving it up to her. She didn't even discuss it with you. You heard the news of her plans through another person. People give their pets more consideration than that!
Find a good lawyer to make sure you get visitation rights to your daughter, and don't let W dictate that part of your life or you will not see her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
