I also wanted to chime in and say how sorry I am for the recent turn of events. BUT, I want you to understand this is all still pretty script like, control what YOU can control.
Half of what they do, and none of what they say!!! Keep giving her the time and space. Its sounds like your doing ok with the interactions, you just need to find a way to get some control over yourself. I know exactly how hard that is to do.
Your still going to make a few mistakes here and there, that's not only common, but expected. So don't be so hard on yourself. Learning to look within ourselves is a tool we were NEVER taught to deal with, so its a crash course, and it feels like life and death sometimes, but its not.
The Gal'n and the PMA, imho, isn't really so much for her, its for you, even when its a façade. I understand how you just don't want to buy in, but over time, the message kicks in. It takes time, it takes practice, and most importantly, it takes LOTS of patience.
I totally agree with Jon, hang in there, don't let the frustrations build up, GET OUT and burn off the frustrations even if its a run around the block. Go to the library, hit the driving range. Learn to play piano or guitar (these are great for when u have an anxiety attack at 3 am.)
Send the b-day card only if you can have no expectations of acknowledgement. STOP wondering about the future, take it day by day, or week by week, depending no how your doing, for now.
I've got an aunt that's been married to the same man six times, 6, im not kidding. We don't know what our futures will bring, even if you wife came back today. So stop worrying about it and live for the day. You can do it.
My uncle went through a mid-life crisis, had a PA, and ultimately divorced my aunt. However, the divorce shocked him and they spent the next several years rebuilding their relationship. They remarried after 5 years (it seems like an eternity). They still celebrate their original anniversary which was 50 years ago this year.
