I too was the WAW who changed her mind. I was absolutely certain and move 2700 miles away, but something happened I had an epiphany. I had to do much soul searching and when I did tell him I wanted to reconcile he said he wasn't closed to the idea but not entirely open to it. I have been reading and trying not to pursue. I don't know if it is working too soon to tell. I know he loves me because he has told me. I am now moving back to be within the same city and hopefully work on a reconciliation. He said he is dating others and wants to continue to do so. I am allowing that to just happen because I did give him the green light when I walked away, hopefully nothing serious will come from his dating. I don't what to do now, how much contact, how much is too much, what to say what do? My mind is all a flutter with emotions which I am desperately trying not to show him how desperately I want to be with him again. I made all the wrong mistakes and want to stop making them. I know he is hurt and confused and dealing with his own emotions right now and me adding pressure will only confuse him more and push him out the door. Some that know what I am trying to do, think I should pursue more and try to convince him but I don't believe this is the appropriate position, he will either come to it or he won't. At this point I am just trying to focus on me and work on myself and getting on with a life that just might not include him. Trying to stay hopeful and keep focused are difficult but if I want my husband back I need to do the required work on me that will make that happen, because even if we do reconcile it cannot be the same relationship as before.
Originally Posted By: Iva
Yes, but I feel like I am still doing everything wrong. We did talk and he said he did not want to get my hopes up. We did end up spending the night together not sure if that is wrong or not, but the next time I saw him he was keeping his distance but he did ask me to stay and watch some of our favorite tv shows that he had recorded. I also noticed that he had kept the cake toppers and the goblets from our wedding and had them on display. Trying not to read too much into that either.
I am just trying to keep things light not make demands, staying focused on me and trying to imagine a life without him. We did have a funny situation we had gone to lunch and the cashier asked us if we were together or separate we both started laughing and he said, "That is a very interesting question...inside joke." He later reiterated that he did not want to be married now, and did not want to get my hopes up, so I am just keeping my distance.
I have been reading the Dbing books and trying to keep things light and not pressured. I need to practice not contacting him and letting him initiate contact and leaving before he requests it give it a little mystery. The hardest part is even though I am the WAW I still feel him blaming me for everything and not accepting any responsibility. I guess this really isnt necessary but to be both the bad person and be thought of as the person who is 100% at fault really [censored] not matter how much I know this isn't true. ~Iva
